he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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