So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
