I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
