This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
