This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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