she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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