Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Your cock deserves a montage
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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