Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
