escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
