Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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