so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
