I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
