That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
