Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
