just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
