Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
