Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize