Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
