did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
