So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
