So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
