Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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