Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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