found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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