smell my finger.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Randomize