I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
