I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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