This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
