She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
