have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
