I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
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