You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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