You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Randomize
