i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I intend to get homeless drunk
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
