Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Holy shit dude........stairs
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