Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
