If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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