Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I still have a little drunk in my system
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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