FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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