there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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