Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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