i think my mom watched the whole time
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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