He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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