Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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