If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
