the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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