is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
