I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
