I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize