I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I have already put on my inside pants.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
