She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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