Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
