Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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