My nipple is on Facebook.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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