Fine. I'll sleep in my office
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize