Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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