I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Found your dick twin last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
