i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
