Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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