It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
