Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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