You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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