what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
