I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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