Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
