You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
