How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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