hotel room ftw
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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