Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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