puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
