im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
