I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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