ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
My day in three words: secret purse cake
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize
