dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
