Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
