thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
