I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Two words: blizzard sex
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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