:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
