Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
