Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize