This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize