tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
